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Hell of the north west

trying not to be sh!t by John Allan

John Allan managed to ride Hell of the North West this lockdown year 2020, below John recalls his amazing journey around the north west of England, including witches, rain, getting wet, sleeping in a disabled toilet, getting wet, dinosaurs, hills, more rain and trying not to be shit.

 

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Hell of the North West

I’m not really a cyclist, not a proper one anyway. I’ve always had bike’s and often ride them for a bit of fun, but I’ve never really taken it seriously. If anything, I’d say I was a fell runner. I enjoy being in the fells and mountains, competing in long distance foot races, ultra-marathons and mountain marathons. I fancied a change though, so stopped running for a year to try my hand at long distance cycling.

I first spotted an advert for ‘Hell of the North West’ about 18 months ago and initially dismissed as ridiculous. It was too hard, too hilly and frankly, I didn’t believe anyone would finish. It’s not a good race if nobody can finish. It was also a cycling event and I wasn’t doing much cycling. Some time passed and I saw another post saying the event was nearing full capacity. Maybe it is possible? I entered to find out.

I put the work in, dropped some weight and started feeling good on the bike. I’m not the sort of person to use heart rate monitors, power meters, Zwift, and all that stuff, preferring instead to get outside and put some effort in. Some things don’t need to be complicated and this is about as simple as it gets. 

Effort in = Fitness out

I don’t think you’re ever really fit until people raise concerns about your health, so whilst I may have looked sick, I started to believe I could do it. 

Then Covid happened, and the event was postponed. Six long, lonely months of winter training in the dark after work, 4am weekend starts for long solo rides, hundreds of hours hard work and pleasurable suffering, in possibly the worst winter conditions I can recall, all seemed wasted. 

With little else to do during ‘lockdown’, I just carried on cycling. It wasn’t training anymore, just enjoying being outside and making the most of the hard-earned fitness. It helped keep me sane(ish) whilst the world went mad, a convenient way to blow off steam and a great way to immerse in nature. Roads, gravel, mud and everything between, I averaged roughly 200 miles and 20,000ft elevation gain every week. Sometimes fast, often slow but always hilly.

The Hell of the North West was put to the back of my mind.

August arrived and brought the first post-lockdown event to pique my interest. Billed as an unsupported, 2-day bike-packing time-trial, the Yorkshire Dales 300 (YD300) is a 300km mountain bike challenge, covering some of the hardest and hilliest terrain outside of the Lake District. 

Most competitors choose to ride over the full weekend and camp somewhere along the route for a few hours. I decided to ride non-stop, through some mixed and challenging weather, and finished 23 hours later. That was my first time racing a bike all through the night and I loved it!

Then the re-scheduled Dales Divide was given the green-light to go ahead on the August bank holiday weekend, following an earlier Covid cancellation. 

This was a different beast altogether and once again, challenging what I believed to be possible. The format was much the same as the YD300. An unsupported mountain bike race where the clock never stops. I entered.

The main difference with the Dales Divide race is its twice as far as the YD300. From Arnside Pier on the west coast, across the Dales and Wolds to Scarborough on the east coast, then back again over the North York Moors and Northern Dales. So that’s a non-stop, 600km off-road mountain bike race from coast to coast to coast… 

I rode hard, slept little, (woke in a frozen bivvy bag in the corner of a field one morning) and finished 56 hours later. Tired but elated.

Having managed to wring 2 successful ultra-cycling races from an otherwise disappointing year, I was reasonably content. Summer was fading, the weather getting cooler and the days shorter. Motivation usually starts waning a bit but there was something niggling away. 

The Hell of the North West was rescheduled for October. As much as I’d tried to forget it, it was unfinished business, and the thought of it still triggered feelings of fear and self-doubt. I told myself that I’d only attempt it in good weather, to do otherwise was foolish and would make something seemingly impossible, outright dangerous.

The forecast: Storm Alex! Saturday October 3rd was to become the wettest single day on record. It’s a day I won’t forget in a hurry.

But actually, the ride would start on Friday, and Fridays forecast was good. Sundays forecast looked OK too. So, even though Saturday looked apocalyptical, if I could survive Saturday it may be possible. Undoubtably unpleasant, certainly difficult and probably dangerous, but possibly possible. 

A cunning plan was hatched. The earliest permitted start time is 1pm Friday, the latest is 5pm (no mass start this year, cos Covid). So, start early, ride as far as possible before the storm hits, continue to ride through said storm without dying, then carry on riding once the storm has passed. 

The challenge here being staying alive, so rather than packing light and fast, I went with safe and warm. Luggage rack, mud guards, dynamo lights, a pair of waterproof Ortleib panniers, spare clothes, 3x pairs of gloves, head-to-toe waterproof clothing, sleeping bag, sleeping mat, lightweight tent. Cunning indeed.

 

The ride

 

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Registration is from the Green Jersey bike shop in Clitheroe. I’m the first rider to arrive and its basically grab and go.  Whilst swapping a few words with the organiser, Dan, I find he’s expecting a maximum of 15 riders. How’s that for low-key? He wishes me look as we bump knuckles and waves me off on my merry way.

Around the corner and straight up Pendle Hill towards the ski club. I decide to stop for a second and take my hearing aids out. I only wear them to help with conversation and I’m not planning on talking to anyone for a long time. The weight of the fully loaded bike is felt immediately, and I’ve quickly run out of gears. My heart rate rises and the legs begin to burn. This is the simple bit now and I smile. I’ve everything I need, I’m feeling strong and the bike I built feels good. ‘Just keep pedaling, stay relaxed and look after yourself’. That’s my basic mantra, along with ‘don’t be sh*t’.

The miles click by, hill after hill, corner after corner. First, heading north through the Forest of Bowland, then back south towards Rivington Pike. I stop for a photo and grab a cheese and onion roll from my bag. This isn’t a race, not a proper one anyway, but I check the Random Adventure Facebook page to see which other idiots riders have started. 

 

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There’s a pair of brothers riding together and they look to have absolutely no gear with them at all. It’s bugging me as I set off and it bothers me for quite a while. I can’t help but think I’ve over packed. My bike weights 23kg fully loaded and these fellas are running race bikes. Moreover, they can draft each other to share the work, and without luggage, I guess they’re not planning on stopping. I spend the next few hours doubting my strategy, occasionally looking over my shoulder and expecting to be overtaken by the Wykes brothers. I know they will be going faster than me, but I resolve to finish ahead of them. It wasn’t a race but it is now. It’s nothing personal, Just me proving to myself that I’ve taken the right approach.

Travelling east through the more familiar South Pennine’s, darkness closes in around 7pm. Tiredness comes in waves but we’re not stopping yet. My sights are set on Keighley at the 100 mile mark, and getting there before the Co-op shuts at 10pm, the last supply point until sometime the following day. I decide to grab a takeaway pizza in the town center and put some warmer clothes on while its being prepared. A quick check on social media suggests a total of 4 other riders have started, the BBC weather app confirms why. No point worrying now though, just scoff the pizza and head towards the Yorkshire Dales. 

 

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I’m glad to leave Keighley and recall a few lines of a poem: 

‘I’ll tell you now and I’ll tell you briefly
I don’t never want to go to Keighley’ John Cooper Clark has a point, its unpleasant experience. 

Towards the Dales and into the night I find peaceful solitude on the quite lanes. Pedaling endless circles with the smooth buzz from the drivetrain and the dim light from dynamo light, things couldn’t be much simpler. It’s a hilly route and I can feel the strain in my legs.

Climbing Malham moor, my thoughts turn to getting a little sleep. Its 1am and I’ve been on the road for 12 hours, but I have a word with myself and keep pushing onwards. At 3am I decide to take a rest. With 157 miles and 16,000ft ascent behind me, I’m understandably tired, and the thought of pushing right through the night into the coming storm doesn’t seem wise. Assuming the visitors center at Aysgarth Falls should have some sort of shelter, I pull into the carpark and look around. 

There’s is a locked disabled toilet which is easily unlocked with my multi-tool. Its clean enough to make myself at home for a short while, and large enough to fit my bike inside with enough space on the floor for a nap. A quick sort out of gear and I’m laying in comfort in my sleeping bag. I brought a foam camping mat along but cut it down to about 2ft x 1ft. It’s just enough to keep my torso off the floor when lying on one side but to keep my legs warm, I’ve emptied a pannier and pulled it over the bottom of the sleeping bag. It’s everything I could wish for. I’m happy here, everything is going well and I drop into a deep sleep.

 

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BeepBeep – BeepBeep – BeepBeep… Phone alarm. 90 minutes sleep doesn’t seem long enough but should see me through the next day. The rain has started so I get fully kitted out from head to toe in “waterproof” clothing, pack up my bed and head out at 5am to make friends with ‘Storm Alex’.

There’s no sunrise today but the sky gradually changes from black to grey and visibility improves slightly. Passing the Tan Hill Inn (Highest Pub in the British Isles at 1732ft ASL) it’s about 7am, as bleak as you could imagine, just light enough to see without lights, and its banging it down. My waterproofs are no longer waterproof and I’m soaked to the core, but they’re helping to retain some body heat. Its miserable but its not a surprise and it’s only going to get worse. I don’t mind though, I’m not here for an easy life.

I had planned to stop at Shap to re-stock on food but there’s still enough in my bag for a few more hours. I need to minimise the stops to keep warm and save time. I’m feeling OK but progress is slower than I would like. The bike is still heavy, flapping waterproofs are not remotely aero, and the roads are running like rivers. Leaves, branches and gravel are strewn everywhere and there’s huge patches of fallen acorns that feel like riding on marbles. Of the few priorities I have right now, not crashing is pretty high up there, alongside avoiding hypothermia. It’s difficult to ride fast enough to stay warm but careful enough to stay safe. The situation is grim and I’m treading a fine line.

There’s a Tesco Express in Ambleside which is likely the last chance to re-stock between here and Keswick. Before that though, is the Kirkstone Pass. The highest road in the Lake District is a tough climb at the best of times, but today it’s a slow process. It takes me about 30 minutes to climb to the summit and I notice some feeling returning to my cold hands and feet. They’ve been numb for hours but its short lived. The decent down ‘The Struggle’ saps any excess heat from my body and I’m thankful to arrive safely outside Tesco for the first stop of the day.

Once my bags are stuffed full of pasties, sandwiches, donuts and flapjacks I take a few moments to reflect, whilst standing in the rain and shoveling a tub of pasta down my neck. 

I’ve only managed to cover about 80 miles since departing the toilet-hotel, and its 24 hours total since leaving Clitheroe. I’m not quite halfway and there’s still a long way to go. I’m absolutely soaked through and shivering now I’ve stopped, but overall, I think I’m OK. I’ve been eating well, have no real pains or worrying injuries, and I’ve enough supplies to see me though another 12 hours or so. I’m concerned about hypothermia, so I need to get moving again. I don’t know how I’m going to see the night out with so much wet gear, or if I’m ever going to feel warm and dry ever again. It’s a distant thought and not worth worrying about just yet. Back on the bike to try and warm up, and pedal towards Langdale in the relentless downpour.

I’ve got GPS issues again. A few hours ago I experienced similar, when my loaded route tried taking me along a bridleway over Askam Fell and cost me about 30 minutes. I prayed it was an isolated incident, but here we are on the edge of Grizedale Forest and the GPS is trying to send me round the mountain bike tracks. I can’t say I’m happy about it and I’ve no idea why it’s happening, but it’s really annoying. I try re-loading the route from my phone but it’s taking ages because file is too large, so it keeps crashing. Try again, crash, try again, crash. I’m trying to shelter under some trees but its not really helping and my phone is dripping wet through. If that breaks, then I’m in even more trouble so it goes back in a plastic bag. I try to navigate from memory until I’m back on the correct line at the other side of the forest. I hate technology sometimes.

The southern Lake District is beautiful, but the conditions are making it difficult to enjoy. The climbs around Broughton and Duddon are extremely tough but my real frustration is the descents. With so much debris and water on the roads, just staying upright is a challenge and my thoughts turn to how much more of this I can manage without becoming a danger. 

There are a few options. The next 50 or so miles ahead have some of the most exposed, steep and difficult roads in the country. I would really like to have this section completed today but its not looking likely. It would take me beyond midnight to reach Keswick and I’m concerned about safety. I have a small tent with me but the thought of pitching it in this weather and then dealing with the layers of sodden kit doesn’t fill me with joy, add the thought of putting it all back on again and packing up a few hours later, and it’s even less appealing. Covid restrictions mean pubs must close at 10pm, and it may take a while to find somewhere with vacancies. If I want to find a room and dry out, I’d have to start looking soon, which would mean cutting the days riding short. 

After dragging what seems like the worlds heaviest bike up the Hardknott Pass and descending the treacherous 30% broken tarmac hairpins on other side in the fading light, I make up my mind to find a room. The rain is absolutely bouncing down and it’s no exaggeration when I say it hasn’t stopped all day. At all. Every single second of every minute of the whole day it has been raining and after 15 hours I’ve had enough of it. 

I peel off my sodden gloves outside the first pub I see in Eskdale, and they literally fall apart. Whatever glue was holding the liner together must’ve washed away in the days deluge. The pub is warm and the food smells amazing, but they have no vacancies. 

The kind lady on reception offers to ring around on my behalf as I’m stood shivering and dripping water all over the reception floor, but call after call and the answer is the same “sorry, we’re full”. I’m starting to feel hopeless and thinking through pitching my tent at the roadside, it’s a sad thought. She doesn’t give up easily though and finally finds me a room up the road in Grosmont. It’s a miserable 30-minute ride away without gloves in the bucketing rain, but the Pub is actually on my route and they’re serving food until 9pm. That gives me about 15minutes to get my act together, hang a million soggy bits of kit on the radiators, have a shower, get a table and place an order.

Sitting in the restaurant feels strange. Dressed in my still-wet waterproof trousers, wet cycling shoes and a tatty down jacket I use for sleeping in, I feel like a King. The feelings of hopelessness and disappointment at not covering the distance I wanted disappear with the first gulps of San Miguel, and the hot soup starter goes down a treat. I wasn’t planning on any luxuries and it feels like I’m cheating but sod it, perhaps I’m being a bit soft, but I’m content for now.

 

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There’s very few ‘rules’ for a ride like this. However, for rider safety and tracking, we’re required to check-in with the Random Adventure Event Team at set locations, at around 50 mile intervals, by uploading a photo to provide proof of passage. I upload a photo of my pint and check how the other riders are getting on. 

Brothers ‘travelling light’ Wykes had spent a cold night in a disused tyre shed near Keighley, pressed on into the storm but bailed at the Tan Hill with serious bodily water damage. Their make-or-break approach with ultralight kit didn’t work out and sadly they broke – hands literally falling apart. I’m not surprised though and recon they did well to get so far, today was hard and I feel happier about my own approach.

 

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Fuzz managed a little further with well proven gear, but scratched east of Shap mid-afternoon. A decision forced by the freezing cold and dangerous riding conditions that saw him nearly crash on a few occasions. This is sad news to me as we had a few social media exchanges during the previous week. I’d expressed doubts about riding in the conditions forecast but Fuzz’s positivity convinced me to start. I’m glad to read he is safe. 

There’s only one other man left standing and that’s Tom. He’s still in the game and thankfully he is reported to be safe and well, holed up in a heated camping pod for the night. I can’t help but feel sorry for him though, he’s almost 100 miles behind me and I imagine he’s had a seriously tough time to get that far. He’s got the hardest still to come and I feel bad for thinking it but, I doubt he’s going to finish.

So where does that leave me? I’m onto my second pint and the fish and chips arrive. That’s proper nutrition for you. I’ve covered 285 miles and have 240 miles left to go. The biggest hills still lie ahead, I’m behind my own schedule, but feeling OK considering what I’ve been through. There’s enough food left in my bags for a few hours riding and my gear should be dry by morning. The weather forecast looks good for the following day, which leaves me feeling positive. All that’s required is to keep on pedaling. And don’t be sh*t. Then I remember I’m sat in a restaurant and start feeling guilty, ‘Am I being sh*t?’ I should probably be outside riding in the rain. I feel like a wimp and head for bed. Could I have done more? It’s long way from finished.

I wake at 4am and need the toilet. I’m knackered, stiff, and my knee has swollen, my head is fuzzy from the beer and I feel like I could sleep for days. My thoughts turn to Tom, what if he’s riding already? I remember a quote from Mike Hall “If you don’t ride, someone else will.”. That’s it then, I sort my kit, demolish the complementary coffee and biscuits, and head out into the night. It’s still raining.

The sky lightens around Loweswater and the rain has stopped. I feel great! Climbing Whinlatter pass is a joy and the sunrise at the top is beautiful. This is why I do this! I’m in my element here. Newlands Pass is amazing and there’s a Buzzard flying alongside me, landing atop the fence posts ahead then flying again. It’s a beautiful creature, a beautiful day and life couldn’t be much better. 

 

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I’m thankful for stopping where I did last night so I can enjoy the Lakes at its best. It doesn’t feel like Hell anymore, Heaven of the North West? I’m the spoilt guest of the North West and loving this! I stop at the top of Honister Pass for a photo and a leftover custard donut, before cruising through Borrowdale towards the Co-op in Keswick. It’s Sunday so it doesn’t open until 10am, I’m slightly early but happy to wait a few minutes, pretty good timing to say it’s a complete fluke.

The road alongside Bassenthwaite is flooded in places which reminds me of the previous days deluge. I’m carefully riding through the shallowest parts in attempt remain dry. Its working well until an oncoming car plows through our shared puddle and covers me head-to-toe in freezing, murky water. Cheers pal.

Caldbeck is stunning and its warming up enough to lose a layer. Then there’s a flattish, fastish section between the Lake District and the North Pennine’s. Its clear enough to see the next set of hills from miles away and I know the next proper climb is a long slog up to Hartside Moor and Alston. The thought of the climb occupies my mind for a long time but once it arrives, I enjoy the gradient and the smooth switchbacks. It’s a long climb and it’s raining enough on the top to add a jacket, but it’s easy on the legs. 

 

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I’ve done about 100 miles by the time I stop at Alston. 

I check in on myself: How are we feeling? OK I think. Tired, but I think I’m OK. I’ve been trying not to think about a schedule too much, but the reality is there’s 140 hilly miles still to go. My average speed is a slow 11mph and likely to drop, but I’m doing very little stopping. If I push myself, I may be able to ride right through the night and finish early Monday morning. This will be the last chance to refuel, so I buy 15 hours worth of food and enough water to last a while. I can re-fill from a stream if need be, there’s enough of them in spate. 

So that’s the plan. Its raining quite heavy now so I add layers of clothing, shove some more food down the hatch, and set off over the North Pennine’s. I’ve never cycled up here before and I recall a social media post from the event organiser saying this was the hardest part of the ride, if any section would break a riders spirit, it’s here.

I decide to not be that guy and set about enjoying the bleak, brutal but beautiful landscape. 

Arriving at Barnard Castle I note how stunning it appears, lit up in the dark like something from a fairytale. I’ve got brain-fog and cant recall when darkness came, but I know there’s less than 100 miles to go. I decide to call Kirsty back home before it gets too late. She’s been following my progress and isn’t surprised when I say I’m planning to ride straight through the night. She believes I can do it which is all I need to hear. I’m knackered and secretly question my own ability, but Kirsty believes in me and I trust her. ‘Don’t be sh*t’

Its been raining for quite a while when I get to Reeth. I’ve already got most of my layers on up-top and my waterproof trousers have been on and off a few times. Faffing with kit is frustrating and hindering progress, but I’m determined to look after myself and see this through. 

By the time I reach Gunnerside, it’s bouncing down and the rain seems to be sapping the heat from my body. This wasn’t in the weather forecast and I can see why people develop trust issues.

I’m aware of the route from here and although the hardest miles are behind, the next climb is over the high and exposed Buttertubs Pass and the weather is serious again. I’m a fell runner at heart and I’ve a fair bit of mountain experience. I think I’m capable of good mountain judgement and I understand the consequences of poor decision making. 

Heading over this pass, at this time of night, in these conditions, whilst so fatigued, seems a poor decision. I still have a tent though which is about as much insurance as I can wish for, should anything go wrong. I pull on the waterproof pants again and tackle the climb. It’s steep and slow but the rain eases off and I warm up nicely. 

The run over high moors is actually enjoyable and it’s a lively decent into Hawes. The roads are greasy and dodging darting rabbits and prickly hedgehogs requires concentration. I think I see the white flash of a barn owl in the shadows but can’t be sure. Strange how quickly you can transition from a fairly dark place, to moments of joy amongst the creatures of the night. Most folk will never experience this, and I feel thankful.

Leaving Hawes my brain is a bit scrambled. Its sometime after midnight and although I’m riding well enough, my mind is playing tricks with the shadows and mild hallucinations are setting in. Its nothing too serious, just the occasional skeleton at the roadside or dark figures in the shadows. I know its in my head, so I try to ignore it.

 

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The bike feels strange too. I think the seat post has slipped at first because the handlebars feel too high. The seat post can’t have slipped though because my legs seem to be bending the right amount. That must mean it’s the bars that are too high. I’d spent a lot of time dialing in the bike fit before the ride and making it fit my body and the bars haven’t suddenly grown. It doesn’t feel to fit now though and its really annoying me. The bars even feel too wide and the grips too thick.

I think I’ve shrunk! In fact, I’m sure of it. I’ve put my body through so much that I’ve actually shrunk! It seems logical, it happens to old people after a lifetime of hardship, and I recon I’ve just accelerated the process. I’ve been through a lot and wanted it to be hard but didn’t really expect to shrink. Is it common? Will I ever go back to normal? I hope my hands don’t stay really small because that would be weird.

My mind is quite occupied with working out how to make the bike fit better with minimal faffing. I’m thinking about stopping to flip the stem to help with my shriveling torso. Ignoring the skeletons isn’t working out so well either, and although it’s not scary, it’s a bit distracting. There’s rows and rows of raised vegetable beds appearing along the banking’s too. I think I prefer the imaginary allotment to the skeletons

In surprise I swerve hard away from the verge. That was a bloody witch opening the gate! I’m wide awake now and in shock. I need to reason with myself, witches aren’t real. Maybe it was just a crooked old woman in the dark, in the middle of nowhere. Definitely not a witch. I keep pedaling the funny shaped bike and try to stay away from the verges. 

 

By the time I reach Wray I know I’ve got a problem. I can no longer ride in a straight line, I’m falling asleep in the saddle, and the bike feels like a clowns bike from a circus. 

I decide to have a sleep in a bus shelter. With only 30 miles to go to the finish, it’s not an easy decision but I can’t carry on like this. I get my mini foam mat out, set a short alarm and lay down on the bench.

30 minutes later the alarm wakes me and I’m freezing cold. My body feels paralysed but my head is clear enough and know I need to get moving. I force myself to my feet, put the mat away in my pannier and eat the last cheese and onion pasty. Helmet on and off I go, straight up another hill.

I feel much better! The sleep monsters have gone and most importantly, the bike fits again. I’m sure I haven’t grown, so I guess it was the fatigue. Although it’s a bizarre realisation, it’s a relief and I have a little laugh at myself, strange man. I’m glad my hands aren’t really small.

The sky is clear now and a full moon shines bright. It’s a beautiful night and it feels like someone has turned the lights on. It’s still chilly but at Quernmore I decide on one last adjustment of layers. Knowing there’s some tasty climbs ahead and dawn isn’t far away, I stop to strip off the waterproofs and tuck them in my panniers for a final time.  I’ve one last photo check-in at the Jubilee Tower, then it’s a lovely ride through the Trough of Bowland. The hallucinations come back from time to time but much milder and more distant. Dinosaur skeletons this time but they’re on the hill tops, far off statues from a museum, merely observing and not causing any harm. I’m enjoying their company.

 

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One last climb up Waddington Fell as the sky is lightening. It’s all downhill from the summit back to Clitheroe and I can see the lights shining in the valley below. It’s Monday morning and starting to get busy on the roads, as the normal folk rush back to work after the weekend. 

Its more or less over and my emotions are mixed. There’s something special about being alone for so long and pushing personal, mental and physical boundaries. I sometimes have moments of wishing to be at home, enjoying a comfortable life with Kirsty, settling down on the sofa or taking the dog for a walk in the woods. I enjoy these things and I miss them when I’m away, but I know when I’m comfortable, I long for adventure, challenges and exploration. I stop at the top of the hill for one last photo and decide to put my hearing aids back in. I’m heading back to reality now, back to civilization, and there’s a chance I’ll have to speak to someone.

I needn’t have worried. The whole appeal of these events is the self-supported philosophy. There’s no support, and validation of success relies heavily on the integrity of the rider. There are no prizes, so no reward for cheating. Nobody cares who ‘wins’, so it’s no surprise that the Green Jersey is closed when I arrive at 7am. There’s nobody here, no tape to break or cork to pop, just another photo check-in to prove I finished, then back to my van on the roadside for a coffee. Just how I like it.

 

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I upload the data from my GPS to Strava. The total stats add up to 527 miles with 54,000ft of ascent, in 66 hours. It looks like quite a journey on the map, but the cycling is the easy bit if you’re fit enough. It’s the self-management that’s the real challenge and the conditions add a lot to that. 

I never thought about stopping and never thought about quitting. I learn with sadness that Tom also scratched, which means I’m the only one to complete the ride. Did I win? I finished last but I think I did OK, I’m content. I wasn’t sh*t.

 

Categories
Music

Gigging in Unusual Places

Unusual venues So Dan and random adventures have asked me to write a piece about unusual venues that I have played.

Dan very kindly had me play at the Green Jersey which was a bicycle shop. That was a very fun evening not only because brilliant audience and Dan’s always amazing sound. But nice food from Phil and I played a good set. In fact I played this place 3 times I think in total and always an amazing night.

The Green Jersey

I have been know for playing where ever asked to play. Being able to play acoustic certainly aids that. And I’m always up for a challenge! Even if it challenges my phobias! I have played underground in a Cave in Ireland where my claustrophobia went thru the roof until I was in the cave. I must say squeezing through small tunnels with head lamps and hard hats on was something. But the acoustics where insane once we where insane.

I face another major phobia in Germany too when myself and my friend Andy aka Raxil4 where asked to play on the top of a disused water tower that had been turned into an amazing arts venue. It seemed like a great idea. But I have chronic vertigo so took me a good while to get up to the top especially up the metal stairs. Once up Andy found he had to get my drinks for me as I was too scared to go back down. Meant I couldn’t drink too much as the toilets where also at the bottom of the building. Again tho so much fun and crazy sounds playing in a water tower.

Other than that played a load of house and garden shows over the years (including bathroom shows and kitchen shows). Basically where ever I can play I will do it. As the more unusual the venue often the more fun can be. It throws the audience a new perspective of what a gig can be. The most intense and unusual gig must be playing an Asylum in France! For people with extreme learning difficulties. The show marked the most intense 20 minute set I’ve ever played especially when one of the residence jumped and grabbed my guitar neck with my hand still attached. But the show helped them so much and felt rewarding even if I have never felt quite so physically and mentally drained after a show like that before.

Thanks so much Dan for asking me to do this I have written more about this in my upcoming book Quiet which I hope to put out in 2021.

But basically I love playing shows and always up for new and challenging venues.

 

Thanks to Tim for his kind words, you can find Tim at:

Facebook

Website

 

 

Categories
Review

FBT Speaker Review

It may seem strange for a company like Random Adventure to do a review on a sound system, but hear me out;

We aren’t just a company that goes for bike rides with Charlie Kelly, Lee Cragie and Steve Abraham, followed by a talk. We put on talks, cinemas, music gigs, races and many other events. A PA system is actually an important tool of what I use along with myself working as a freelance sound engineer and as a DJ.

So when Rob from FBT offered us to demo one of their systems for the evening it was impossible to say no, Rob is the north’s FBT rep and FBT has a reputation for going the extra mile, going to demo nights and helping expose their brand. The fact they had a chance to use their system for a unique experience (not many blues gigs in bike shops..) was also beneficial to themselves as a brand too.

The set up is unique as we don’t use a conventional two speaker stereo set up for a number of reasons; space is limited and near impossible to place two speakers out front, as it’s 50 capacity, there isn’t that much of a need for the power of two speakers, the singer is in mono anyway….

System used, full specs below.

Ventis 206A top 1 of

SubLine 112SA 1 of

monitor

Ventis 110A 1of

Venue:

A bike shop come cafe in Clitheroe, the cafe area can seat approximately 50 at max capacity, however it is in overall size ~125 capacity.

Act

Two solo guitar blues singers, Tim Holehouse and Malcom Tent:

Malcom used acoustic guitar and singing (FBT DM-29 mic)

Tim used, acoustic guitar, electric guitar and amp (SM57), stomp box (DI) and vocals (FBT DM-29)

Mixer used:

Bheringer X12 controlled by X-air software and CAT6, personal headphone monitors HD-25 MKII.

All leads, VanDamme or Klotz

Test track:

Bonobo Cirrus

Right away I can hear a clarity in the highs of the track, Rob from FBT tells me this is the compression driven tweeters, the real treat came when I turned the system up, the volume, clarity and overall tone just got better and better when I cranked it up, with no distortion or uncomfortable loudness, just a crisp loudness.

1st impressions:

They are very light and well made, the truecon connection on the two Ventis speakers is a great improvement on the older power con connection. The weight is also worth noting, the sub is remarkably light, to the point you’re thinking, well this can’t sound that great, how wrong I was with that. The screens on the two Ventis speakers made setting up very easy in use, the settings and set up were remarkably easy and intuitive, including mic/line, delay, position (wedge, close to wall etc..)

In use:

I flattened the EQ on everything and only added correctional EQ when needed, I found the detail on the system so precise that EQing on a system I have never used or heard incredibly easy, there’s little to no colouring on the system bar the presets on the sub, the detail that came through the speakers made it incredibly easy to get a great sound right away, I only had to use my reference headphones a couple of times and that was basically as a AB test or to solo an element.

Rob set the sub to DJ to give it that extra kick, and for a 26Kg speaker is really does kick, Tim has a stomp box, a wooden box you stomp your foot on to to give a kick drum beat, when EQ’d and gated right, this stomp have a thunderous kick from a 12” 26Kg speaker.

The monitor, again this was set up easily and the floor wedge setting was applied, Tim had this to say on it:

The PA was very crystal clear good quality of sound. Only a bit of low end feed back in the monitors maybe a bit too much low end in the there, I didn’t have enough time to play with the EQ on the foldback. This was very minor and did not affect the performance, the pick ups on Tim’s guirar are very sensitive. The size of the pa to the sound was amazing the sub altho very small had a beautiful low end and really brought my kick out on my stomp box. Really good quality sound and made playing really easy.

Tim’s guitar has a very sensitive pickup and in a small environment can induce feedback.

Overall:

For a quick use I haven’t had enough chance to play with the speaker in different environments and with different artists and in a DJ capacity. However, even for a system costing this much, it is now high up on my next purchase list, the versatility, power and low weight make this the perfect system for mobile use, backed up by FBT and their ever presence in the UK, you know you’re getting a product that will have proper backing from Rob, Mark and Jack. FBT have a great balance on a product here, it’s compact enough for carrying, it’s loud enough to replace a full range system, the clarity from such volumes is amazing too with no distortion when pushed very hard.

On a side note, you’ll notice both singers used an FBT DM-29 microphone, Rob gave me this to try, it never got replaced back with my 58 and sounded great, on;y advice is it empathises the p’s so a foam filter will help. This is now used more than my 58, although both have slightly different characteristics they perform almost identically.

Full spec of the system used below:

Ventis 206A  SSP £789 each

The VENTIS 206 and 206A can be deployed as a front fill, an under-balcony fill or as a main providing pristine speech intelligibility or simply as the full-range companion of a subwoofer. Constructed in 12mm birch plywood, the 206 and 206a has an integrated rear handle, an optional mounting bracket and, most importantly, an astonishing size to SPL ratio.

The enclosures are as suitable for fixed installation as they are for use on the stage.

M10 mounting points are included as standard while an optional U-bracket can be used for wall-mounting.

For use on the road, the  VENTIS models include aluminium handles with rubber inserts, and a 35mm pole mount socket.

Code:    40639

Power cord:        5m

Net Dimension (WxHxD):              190 x 560 x 260mm

Net Weight:        12.3kg

Configuration:   2 Way

Built in amplifier:              900w (700w LF + 200w HF)

Built in amplifier peak:   1800w (1400w LF + 400w HF)

Frequency Response:     70Hz – 20kHz -6dB

Low Frequency Woofer: 2x 6.5

High Frequency driver:  1

Maximum SPL continuous/peak:               124/131dB

Dispersion (HxV):             70 degrees x 50 degrees rotatable

Input Impedance:            22kOhm

AC power requirements:              640VA

Input Connector:              XLR/Jack Combo socket with XLR link out, RCA stereo input

SubLine 112SA ssp £859 each

Bass-reflex design with high SPL and punch

– 320mm (12”) high excursion magnet woofer with 75mm (3”) voice coil

– Frequency response from 40Hz to 140Hz

– New amplifier engineered and manufactured by FBT, 700W RMS LF in Class D

– Digital Signal processor with 8 presets, 2 equalisation with 2 LPF Crossover settings, cardioid configuration

– Control panel with Stereo XLR in/outs, Volume, EQ presets, 8 steps Delay from 0.25m to 3.5m, Phase Reversal Switch 0°-180°, 3 status LED indicators

– 15 mm (0.59”) birch plywood scratch resistant enclosure with internal bracing

– M20 (20mm) top mount speaker stand socket and two aluminium ergonomic FBT handles

Configuration:   Subwoofer

Built-in amplifier LF/HF: 700w

Built-in amplifier peak LF/HF:      1400w

Frequency response:      40Hz – 140Hz

Low Frequency woofer: 12″ (3″ VC)

Maximum SPL cont/peak:            130/133dB SPL

Dispersion:         Omnidirectional

Input connector:              Stereo XLR In/Out (High Pass/Link Out)

Power cord:        5m IEC

Net Dimension (WxHxD):              430 x 447 x 480mm

Net Weight:        23 kg

Transport Dimension (WxHxD): 530 x 547 x 580mm

 

The floor monitor Ventis 110A SSP £ 841 each

PROCESSED ACTIVE SPEAKER 700W + 200W RMS – 131DB SPL

For the VENTIS range, quality and flexibility are the watchwords. Based on a powerful combination of B&C compression drivers and FBT’s own custom, long excursion woofers, the 115, 112 and 110 models are two-way, bass reflex designs housed in 15mm birch plywood. A full-grille design backed by specially treated acoustic cloth delivers the characteristic style for which FBT is known, while fully rotatable constant directivity horns ensure accurate coverage.

Code:    40640

Power cord:        5m

Net Dimension (WxHxD):              329 x 575 x 325mm

Net Weight:        15.6kg

Transport Dimension (WxHxD): 420 x 675 x 400

Transport Weight:           18.1kg

Configuration:   2 Way

Built in amplifier:              900w (700w LF + 200w HF)

Built in amplifier peak:   1800w (1400w LF + 400w HF)

Frequency Response:     58Hz – 20kHz -6dB

Low Frequency Woofer: 10

High Frequency driver:  1

Maximum SPL continuous/peak:               124/131dB

Dispersion (HxV):             80 Degrees x 50 Degrees rotatable

Input Impedance:            22kOhm

AC power requirements:              640VA

Input Connector:              XLR/Jack Combo socket with XLR link out, RCA stereo input

Categories
Guest Blog

When Charlie Kelly came to the UK

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Foreword by Daniel Jones

Our first blog post is a guest post by the one and only Charlie kelly, I was fortunate enough to spend 4 days with him this July, I took him to a local XC race, held by Midweek madness, showed him Manchester, Rivington and the roads of Bowland.

Special thanks need to go out to; Benji at The Bike Cabin, Phil and Richard at The Green Jersey to helped make this a success.

Dan

Words by Charlie Kelly.

After years of online communication with UK bike blogs, and after hosting several visitations by UK mountain bikers I met on those blogs, I wanted to go there and ride on their turf.  The excuse and the vehicle was a lecture tour to push my book, Fat Tire Flyer: Repack and the Birth of Mountain Biking.

I don’t have an agent or anyone to set this up.  I made arrangements with online contacts, most of whom didn’t promote lectures.  I bought the airline ticket on faith that I could at least defray most of my expenses, possibly even make a little money.  The timing was set by Joe Breeze at one end and my Lancashire host Daniel Jones at he other.  Joe had business in Germany and a few days to spare after that, so I arranged to meet him in London on 12th July, where we would start the tour at a bike shop and coffee house called Look Mum No Hands.  Daniel offered me the date of 23rd July, so I allowed a few days after that to get back to London, and I was able to schedule a date near there just before I flew home.

Joe had to leave for home before I did, so we did four dates together and then I did two by myself.  Decades ago Joe and I traveled around on all sorts of mountain bike adventures, then we both had families and such, but the kids are out of college now, and we barnstormed just like old times.

I got a ride from Gatwick to London, where I waited in  hotel for Joe to show up.  My chauffeur was Phil Barker, whom I had met online on the Retrobike forum.  This was amazingly gracious of him, since he couldn’t even attend the lecture.  He gave me his Oyster card, a pre-paid fare on London transit, which proved invaluable when we took to the tube.

Ah, the tube.  We had to take it to get to the gig, but it is beyond intimidating for a first timer.  For the trip into town we were joined by Jon Herring, who also couldn’t stay for the show, then we were guided back by Grahame Baker.  The tube is a disorienting system of winding tunnels echoing with the sound of the trains and the guy playing a selection of Santana hits on the platform.  Most of the passengers have the advantage of going the same places every day. 

When we found our train, the doors were just closing and it would be at least two minutes before the next one came along, so Joe took it upon himself to insert his foot into the sliding doors.  On a train that was about to rocket out of the station.  I thought surely I was about to see my friend dragged to death, but the train showed mercy and the doors slid open again.  Joe jumped in and I had to leap aboard, because becoming separated looked like doom.

Look Mum No Hands is half coffee house, half bike shop. Joe and I gave our talk with no rehearsal, just our hastily edited PowerPoint.  They loved it.  We signed books for a while, then walked the mile back to the tube and the mile from the tube station to our hotel, four miles as pedestrians in addition to the subway.

Next morning Joe took a bus to pick up the rental car.  I gave him the Oyster pass, because it still had a couple of quid on it, and it turns out that the Oyster pass is all the bus company accepts.

Joe got back with the car and we headed south, toward our next stop.  First order of business was to buy a comprehensive road map of England.  I have probably dirven ten times the miles Joe has, but he drove every inch that we traveled together.  I would certainly have killed us.  Joe seemed to be able to create a mirror image in his head to deal with driving on the left, but that included swapping the directions left and right and the clock positions of three and nine o’clock.  I had to be careful giving and interpreting directions.  It was almost like a rally driver and navigator.

Studying the map, I saw tht we would pass close to Stonehenge, so a stop was mandatory.  You don’t dream about this place for fifty years, and drive within a few miles of it and then skip it.

Sixteen quid fifty with the senior discount, a short shuttle bus ride, and then Stonehenge.  Wow.  A very emotional hour at the site, then off to Swanage on the coast in Dorset.

More navigation past castles on hilltops, and then Swanage.  No way to find Charlie the Bikemonger’s shop without help, got him on the phone, and after a few laps of the tiny streets of the town we found him.  As evening came on we joined Charlie and journalists Mike and Seth in a pub, where we refreshed ourselves before heading up into the hills to a campsite in a fenced off field.  You don’t need an alarm clock there. On the other side of the fence is a limestone quarry, which starts cutting limestone early.

Joe and I were introduced to our fellow campers, most of them in tents but Joe and I slept in a yurt on real beds.  We were there for a couple of nights, so we traded one night each in the funky cot and one on the double bed.

Morning, breakfast followed by the big ride.  When we met Charlie the Bikemonger the evening before, he sported a goatee.  After meeting us, the next morning he had shaved it into a passible example of a ‘70s mountain biker Fu Manchu similar to what Joe and I were now sporting.

People paid 40 quid to go on the ride with Joe and me.  That’s about fifty dollars and it seemed like a lot to me, but for that they got all day with us.  Fortunately it was an easy day because the bike I was loaned was too small for me and full rigid.  Also, everyone else averages 40 years younger and races on weekends, so every compliment on my riding ends with, “…for a guy your age.”.   

Five miles uphill into the wind to a place that bills itself as the best pub in the world.  I didn’t get enough of a sample, I only hit a couple of dozen pubs while I was there, but it was definitely in the top ten. Threading our way past the line waiting for beer, and ducking through a hallway where my helmet banged the ceiling, Charlie showed us a room no more than about 40 square feet, which housed what they called a museum.  The room held a collection of odd artifacts such as geodes, as well as several dozen stone-age flint and bronze age artefacts.  Flint is unknown in California where I live, and the Native Americans used obsidian as their primary weapon and tools stone.  Obsidian is found in only a few locations. In England there is so much flint around that they make driveway gravel and church walls out of it.

Two hours hanging on the hilltop and hoisting more than a few, then five miles downhill with a tailwind to the big BBQ and our presentation.  The folks got lenty for their money, because the BBQ was catered and generous.  Joe and I gave our presentation in a little clubhouse, then did the book signing and selling thing.  Back to the campsite, but hardly to bed.  Somebody asked what I liked to drink, and I said single malt.  Done, an expensive fifth showed up at the campsite.

A roaring fire provided the centerpiece, there were a couple of guitars being passed around along with the bottle of whisky.  Drinking expensive whisky from the bottle and playing and singing until two a.m. is exactly what it is cracked up to be, a lot more fun than the Internet.  Joe went to bed early, and maybe because I don’t make a habit of that kind of partying, I wasn’t suffering the next morning, but others seemed to.  No matter, Joe and I were off to our next engagement, which was later that evening in Nottingham. 

Despite our tight schedule, Joe insisted on a stop in Coventry at the Coventry Transport Museum.  This, like all the other museums I visited, was free admission.  We could easily have spent a day there looking at the vintage automobiles, but we concentrated on the bikes.  Some of the older models on display were impressive, since Coventry was the first center of bicycle manufacture in England, but the collection of more modern bikes on display was disappointing in many respects, either for the poor choice of bikes exhibited, or the poor condition.  Later we heard that there is a better and more substantial collection but that most of it is not on public display.

I had sworn not to mention Robin Hood and all that jazz when I went to Nottingham, but the town won’t let you forget.  While everyone acknowledged that Robin Hood was as fictional a character as Pecos Bill or Paul Bunyan, that doesn’t keep the town from putting up a statue.

Joe and I were not speaking at the Nottingham stop.  A local theatre was showing “Klunkerz,” so we were taking questions and meeting and greeting and selling books and getting paid to be there.  Joe and I have seen Klunkerz a lot of times and we know how it ends. We also know exactly how long it is.  We introduced the film, and headed out with our host Duncan McCann to see the oldest pub in the world.  It was a fifteen minute walk past the Robin Hood statue and the castle walls to the pub, Ye Old Trip To Jerusalem.  It was a kind of Veteran’s lodge, only the war was the Crusade in the 12th Century.  The building will never fall down, because most of the pub was carved out of the enormous block of sandstone that supports the castle.  The interior walls are stone and the roof doesn’t leak.  Eight hundred years in one location means they probably served mead to Vikings there.

A quick trip to the castle level, which is on top of the hill the pub sits under, and we heard the story, and read it on the signboard, about the intrigue and treason and betrayal and stabbings and infidelity and murder and secret tunnel escapes that passed for entertainment in such castles.  Game of Thrones stuff, but they didn’t need HBO

I should mention here that when I packed up to leave for the UK, I forgot to change out of the shoes I normally only wear around the house.  By the time I realized my mistake, I was at the airport. I had my riding shoes with me, but they only work with clipless pedals and are not for walking.  I didn’t feel like spending the money on an expensive pair of shoes, since I have plenty at home, and a cheap pair of shoes would not have been any better than what I had, so for seventeen days I shuffled around in my Merrill slip-ons.

Back in the theatre, Joe and I took a surprising number of questions after the film, then the drudgery of signing and selling the books.

Hotel breakfast, then meet Duncan in the lobby for the drive out to Sherwood Forest.  We followed him, since we would be heading north to Scunthorpe after our ride. On the way we stopped at the immense and shuttered Raleigh factory, which once produce millions of bikes but now stands silent, a square mile of offices and factories.  Above the ornate front entrance you can trace the holes on the façade where the company logo once hung.

We got out to Sherwood Forest, and it isn’t anything like the big oak trees in Chico’s Bidwell Park where Errol Flynn made a name for himself.  Turns out the British Navy had an insatiable appetite for oak trees, and the forest took one for the team.  When Nottingham started marketing Robin Hood, it was a little embarrassing that the famous forest was, like, gone.  Oak trees of the magnificent category take a couple of centuries to grow, so they were replaced with much faster growing pine trees.  For the duration of the trip Joe referred to the forest as Sherwood Pines.

The entire forest is a recreational area, with miles of mountain bike trails, zip lines and kid playgrounds.  Terrain is not hilly, but rolling through the woods on singletrack you can get moving, and there are enough jumps and banked turns to keep the ride exciting.  The vegetation is lush and includes nettles.  Lots of nettles.

Joe and I were again on borrowed equipment, full suspension bikes on loan from Duncan’s friend Chris.  Both were a step up from the rigid bikes from two days earlier, and so was the ride.  This was not a pub crawl, it was a blast through the forest on banks and jumps.  Joe had an email asking for a photo of us riding together, for Sports Illustrated, so we posed it there.  We were joined on the ride by our host for that evening in Scunthorpe, Chris Longbone.

Ride over, we hustled up to Scunthorpe, found a landmark and called our host Chris to come and guide us to our destination. First stop was his house, where we could camp that night, then off to a small facility with a stage and a screen for our presentation.  The place was normally closed on Monday, so we helped the owners sell a lot of beer and fill the chairs.  While the technician worked on getting out PowerPoint ready, I sat with a couple of attendees.  The older gentleman admitted to being a road rider with little interest in mountain biking, while his companion claimed a serious off-road habit.  I told the skeptical roadie he would be buying my book, and I showed him a copy.  At the end of the evening they both ponied up the 25 quid and took home signed copies.

Joe and I camped on Chris’ flor, then the next morning we headed off to Newcastle.  Since Joe was headed home a couple of days later, we took the opportunity to become tourists.  English cycling author Carlton Reid lives in Newcastle and had extended an invitation, so we dropped in on him.  He had not seen my book, so when he did he complimented it highly, saying that it looked quite a bit better than his own recent effort and cost less.  Joe and I sat for a podcast recording, and then we all set off to have a look at Hadrian’s Wall.  Carleton directed us to a particularly spectacular section of the much reduced fortification.  Most of it was carted off to build other things as soon as it was abandoned.  The place he showed us is one of the most frequently photographed areas because there is still enough of the wall left to trace and appreciate the construction.  The spectacular scenery makes every photo a postcard image.

We dropped Carleton off at the train station in a nearby village and continued on into York where we found a room. The next morning Joe and I spent an interesting hour at the York Railroad Museum.  It’s hard to think of a larger item to collect than locomotives and train cars, but somebody had to do it.

Joe dropped me off at the York train station and headed back to Heathrow, and I was now traveling on my own.  Rode the train to Preston, changed for Chorley, and met my new host Benji Norton.  He walked me and my luggage to a nearby B and B where my hostess Jackie offered to carry my luggage to my third floor room.  My reputation had preceded me, I had a page in the Chorley Guardian devoted to my visit, with a couple of photos I had conveniently supplied to my other host Daniel Jones.

Breakfast at the B and B, and then hang out for four days until my next talk, a chance to hit the local trails and cultural sites.  Next morning I moved my gear over to The Bike Cabin, Benji’s bike shop in Chorley. Went over to the Green Jersey to meet the owner Richard and hang around that shop for a while.  After that we headed out to a local quarry for the Thursday night race. 

When we parked outside the quarry for the hike up the hill, I saw a nicely preserved Saracen from the ‘eighties on the bike carrier of another parked car.  A couple of teenage boys were hanging out near the car.  I stopped to take a photo of it, and when I did Daniel identified me to the two kids, who were visibly impressed.  I had made the Lancashire newspaper as well as the Chorley Guardian and the mountain bikers were ready for the visit.

The quarry was set up for mountain bike activity with trails, a considerable amount of climbing if you wanted it, and a pump track for warming up.  There were trials obstacles which were not in use because the event was cross-country.  As the racing proceeded a few sheep wandered across the course, paying little attention to the competition.  Afterward Daniel and I promoted the lecture to the crowd and I handed out the race prizes.

Friday morning, Daniel picked me up and we did the cultural thing with a trip into Manchester to the Museum of Natural History.  I had dinner that evening with Benji and his friend Chris Williams, a former automotive and motorcycle designer who now makes his own line of full suspensions bicycles.

I was told that Chris was not particularly talkative, but you could have fooled me.  He was happy to talk bicycles for hours over dinner, then over beers in the local pub.  The next day I would be trying out one of his bicycles on a group ride leaving the Bike Cabin.

If you are the author of a book on bicycling, and if you are described in the local newspapers as a legendary cyclist, you had better be prepared to go on a few bike rides.  Most of those people on those rides were 30-40 years younger than I am, and probably get in a lot more miles.  Every compliment on my riding seemed to end with, “…for a guy your age.”  I’ll accept that, since at least I can still do the distance, even if you now time me with a calendar.

I was incredibly lucky with the weather, which was drizzly every time I wasn’t riding, and mild every time I was.  Good thing, because it was my impression that the rides were on, no matter what the state of meteorology.  For our mountain bike ride out of Chorley the trails had standing water from recent rain, but none was coming down as a dozen or so of us followed Bike Cabin owner Benji Norton down bridle paths and trails.  A day earlier when Daniel Jones was driving me to the Manchester Museum, he pointed to a distant hilltop, where I could see a large structure, and he said we would be riding to it.  And now we were.

After more climbing than I had expected, we reached the top of Rivington Pike the highest elevation in the area at nearly 1200 feet.  The impressive stone structure on the top was not a medieval fortress, it turned out to be less than 200 years old.  The Pike Tower was once a hunting lodge, but now it’s a boarded up stone tower suitable as a backdrop for posing mountain bikers.

The ride down was much more entertaining than the ride up.  We took a different and much steeper route which turned out to be a shallow stream bed paved with rocks ranging from potato sized to cantaloupe size.  After lagging on the climb I was at least marginally better at the tricky descent than the rider who went down right in front of me.  Most rode flat pedals because that was more appropriate for the terrain, but I was on SPD, which limited the bailout options.

 

After leaving the peak, we entered a forest laced with rails.  This was not a formal mountain bike park like the one in Sherwood Forest, but a more informal setup created by locals.  I was offered red or back, i.e. degrees of difficulty, and I chose difficult.  The “difficult” trails in Sherwood Forest hadn’t turned out to be that challenging, but these were.  Long drop-offs here were blind, you can’t see the landing until you step up to the edge and look over.  I had to step down a couple, but went the distance with only one fall.

 

 

 

The next ride was on the road, and it was open to anyone, but the total number was three, myself, my host Daniel, and his friend Haydn.  Haydn was primarily a one-speed rider, and had to be instructed in the use of the derailleurs on his borrowed bike.  In spite of his lack of experience, and possibly linked to his 45 year age advantage, Haydn smoked me on the climb.

 

The climb?  Daniel assured me that there was only one hill on our route.  That “hill” was 360 meters or so of elevation gain, of the 600m total climbing in 32km of riding.  With the top in sight, I had to put a foot on the ground and regroup. This was my first road ride in a long time, and I think I’ll put the next one off for a few more years.

Gave my talk that night, had a great crowd and made money, then off the next day to Wendover for my last stop.  The trip involved a couple of transfers on the London Tube, but my experience a week earlier made that a lot easier.  Arrived in Wendover and my host Lee Niven picked me up at the train station.  He took me to his house, introduced me to wife Suzie and son Jack, and ensconced me in the spare bedroom.

That evening we retired to a local pub, “The Shoulder of Mutton” for dinner.  I thought I might try mutton, but it turned out they don’t serve it there.

Lee is a Marin Bikes dealer, and the first person in England that I had met who pronounced “Marin” the way people who live there pronounce it.  His shop is in a sporting complex that includes tennis courts and other recreational areas.

 

Of course there was a ride and I was supplied with a new bike for it.  The climbing was not challenging, but I had a derailleur problem that jammed the chain between chainrings on downshifts.  Locked in with my SPD, I went down five or six times, and got up just as many. 

We followed “Fin,” a teenager who was an exceptional rider, and he led us over challenging but very ridable downhill terrain that included more slippery, wet roots than dirt.  Riding over roots is what they do, so I did it also.  Later on, Fin pointed out that the long sleeve of my white jersey was bloody, and thought I had been injured.  I told him that if I rode home and didn’t know I was bleeding, it wasn’t what I would call an injury.

Gave my talk that night, next day back on the train, day after that home and jet lagged.  I haven’t had a bicycle adventure like that in decades, and sharing it with Joe Breeze took us both back to the ‘seventies and ‘eighties when that was our life.

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